Broken Trust

Broken-trust-600x524My excitement knew no bounds that fateful Monday morning, as I got dressed and prepared for my first lecture at the university.

I stood by looking at the mirror, which made me reflect on my life and who I have grown to become. Physically, i was a very beautiful damsel with qualities wanted by every beauty knew no limits as i  could make the toughest of hearts melt because of my beauty. Till today, I believe my beauty could be compared to that of “Delilah” who made the great Samson fall.

I quickly applied my makeup and hurriedly left for my proposed faculty of learning.

I had started amassing lots of friends two weeks later,including male admirers who i had a great tinge of hatred for…boys irritated me. Most of the boys were even afraid to talk to me because of my rudeness.

Jeez, I HATE BOYS, in fact, the mere thought of anything that had a tail between it legs got me irritated, anytime I remembered what i had gone through in men’s hands,sent a cold shiver down my spine.

I chose to forget, but never forgive as I hoped to one day revenge on the trespasses sinned against me by the so called “men”. Now, my main purpose to achieve is reading my books and not allowing any ANIMAL wit TAILS distract me!

By the way, my name is BECKY, I had finished my secondary school four years back with a record of the highest scoring student in my WAEC result, with what Nigerians call A1 parallel….na Beans?? My beauty could be equated to my brilliance, as i was the best graduating student back then.

Well, we all know how things happen in Naija, gaining admission to the university wasn’t a matter of brilliance, probably luck or connections…one thing or the other, was the problem every year, either my course of study was competed for by other students, or my course was changed which i had to defer…

Age was no longer by my side, as I just clocked 20 years last two months, but I was still very young, needless to say, I wasn’t even hurrying to get married. I didn’t think i would sef, because of my hatred for men…this year i had gained admission with my preferred choice of study..

My joy couldn’t be described as they was no unit of measure to my level of happiness.

Little did I know what the future played in store for me…

I had started enjoying campus life, my own personal life had really changed. As a 100level student, I was introduced to a lot of characters, the good, the bad, and the handsome. Although I related free with everyone, I still carried a burden in my chest, a scar in my heart and hate in my mind.

I listened with great attention at my opponent, who spoke with authority like he wrote the textbook himself…damn this stupid lecturer who had given us a presentation and in all the students around, he chose this brilliant dude to be my opponent.

He spoke and quoted with authority; his speech, fluent like that of Barack Obama.

I couldn’t help but notice that he was equally handsome. I guess I must have seen him around, probably flirting with one of those loose girls. Other than that, I didn’t really know much about him.

“Thank you Mister Kingsley,” the lecturer spoke out, after the nerdy handsome guy had finished his presentation. Hmmmn, his name was “Kingsley”, like i cared! Durrrh!!..

I came out and stood in front of the class and began my presentation, but while I was at it, I felt what I said really didn’t make any point, it seemed the “Kingsley”, or whatever he was called, had taken all the glory with his charisma and “textbook quoted” speech. Besides, I am not a girl that likes to lose, especially when it relates to book stuff, because I’m a bookworm, and I would really feel so awful if I come to lose that presentation.

My fears were brought to reality when the lecturer announced the winner of the presentation. Shit I lost, another blow to my face. I felt as if something was stolen from me.

Instantly, I developed a bit of transgression towards Kingsley.

I had already picked up my bag and was heading out of the class when someone held my hand.

I turned around to see that it was no other person than KINGSLEY.

My anger fueled within as i turned around to face him. “What possible reason would make him want to talk to me?” I thought.

“What do u want?!!,” I fired at him with rage from the disgrace i just faced not minding the prying eyes of onlooking students.

“Hello,” he greeted me, expertly dodging my question. With a big smile across his face like he had made it his plan to utterly disgrace me that day. “I just want to commend you for what you pulled out there, you were really amazing,” he said.

I just couldn’t believe my ears, what did he take me for?? That i couldn’t beat him in book stuffs? Rather than making a move, I just stood there, frozen like a statue.

“I was wondering if we could meet and talk over a bottle of drinks, no strings attached,” he continued.

Something in me felt like giving him a good slap right there, but i held back. I gave him a scornful look which could break any boy’s heart, hissed and went away.


“I just can’t understand WHY you chose to disgrace that handsome young dude who meant no harm by asking you over to have a couple of drinks with him,” ANITA barked.

Anita was my room mate who was in the same department as I. She had always been against my rudeness towards boys, with a mentality that “it may come back and bite me in the blow.”

Although, she was my good friend, I just couldn’t continue with her incessant chants and yelling on how I treat boys.

“Look, Anita, its none of your business how i treat boys,” I replied at her in an effort to keep her shut.

“But can’t u see, you can’t continue treating boys this way because of your past experience, that u have decided to keep to yourself. Its just not fair,” she added.

“Please Anita,i have had enough embarrassment for one day, let me be,” I begged with hopes of getting her shut up.

“Please Becky, for your own sake,” Anita cried out. “I don’t know what your past experience might have been, but you just have to let it go and open yourself to reality, to the world, they are still humans,” she advised with a plea as she concluded and left the room without another word.

“Finally, some alone time to myself,” I thought, as I fell on the bed. My mind quickly raced back to what Anita had said. Maybe it was time to face reality, or probably face the world. I shouldn’t avenge the sin of one person on the head of another innocent person. Like she said, ‘they are still humans.” Maybe i should loosen up to the real deal, maybe I should cut them some slack. The memory caused her to start sobbing.

But on a second thought, I just couldn’t, the burden my heart carried couldn’t be forgiven easily. They are gonna have to pay the price, I don’t care who gets hurt, I thought.

As I continued my train of thoughts, visible tears started trickling down my cheeks.

Okumor Philip

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